It doesn’t matter what your life looks like, but rather how it feels.
Unfortunately, happiness, fulfillment, and purpose aren’t boxes you can check off a to-do list. In a culture of flawlessly curated Instagram feeds, extensive LinkedIn profiles, and the trending “That Girl” lifestyle, it’s easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of keeping up appearances. Discovering life’s best feelings means finding peace in letting go of appearing perfect.
For so long, I was convinced once I had high grades, the body I trained for, awards, a degree, and a well-paying job of considerable stature, I would feel good. My worth and purpose not only became irrevocably tied to these external achievements, but I convinced myself once everything I set out for had been accomplished then happiness would follow. I believed I cracked the code of life as if I discovered the formula that would lead me to the sense of purpose and accomplishment I craved.
This social problem is only exacerbated by the advent of social media which only shows the “highlight reel” of one’s life. This is detrimental not only because it drives constant comparison between yourself and the rest of the world, but poses negative implications for your relationship with yourself.
The disconnect between what’s being portrayed online and lived reality causes us to lie to ourselves, pretending these measures of success or perfection are what we inherently desire. We must see online portrayals for what they are: a construct posing these accolades or milestones as universally important.
This disconnect can be harmful, as it often leads us to feel inadequate, as if we’re doing life wrong or lacking the skills or opportunities to achieve fulfillment, even after checking all the boxes.
Life isn’t a performance—you shouldn’t wake up in the morning exhausted by how you’re choosing to live it. The purpose you’re looking for is to live. Any validation you crave from anyone or anything you must give yourself first.
Ask yourself, “Am I going on this trip for the photos or for the experience? Do I want to go to law school for myself or for my parents? Does this person share my values, or do I just want company?”
You hold the power to create the life you want and no amount of hiding behind the facade of perfection can shelter you from this reality.
Mikayla is a third-year t Honours Political Studies and Global Development student and one of The Journal’s Copy Editors.
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