It’s not often a student lectures a cop and gets away with it. But there I was, standing on the corner of Aberdeen and Johnson streets the night of the infamous “Queen’s homecoming riot” last September, pontificating on proper police conduct.

A week ago I thought I’d be writing two more of these signed editorials next year. Now I know this will be my last one, and I’m sad and scared and a little bit angry. But I’m also excited because I’m going to have time to live, something that’s been sorely lacking in my life lately.

It all began on Monday when Stephen Harper refused to allow the media to be present when children from the Canadian Cancer Society gave him daffodils in his office. Then on Tuesday, Harper held his first unannounced cabinet meeting.

Hi, my name is James, and I’m an e-mail-a-holic (all: “Hiiii James”). That’s right, I have a problem, and it’s not a habit I’m likely to kick any time soon. I started thinking about this recently when replies to my grad school applications started coming in. Not surprisingly, Oxford turned me down in a polite and encouraging letter. McGill did the same, but in a few short lines, and by e-mail. E-mail!

It has recently come to light that the abuses committed by American soldiers at Abu Ghraib prison were not the first instances of violence against detainees in Iraq. There is now evidence of the existence of Task Force 6-26, a special unit with secret headquarters at Baghdad International Airport called Camp Nama.

With tears running down her face, the older woman shook hands and hugged the doctor standing in the open doorway leading into the waiting room. This was a tragic and true scene in which the doctor had probably participated many times. I saw this happen while leaning against the empty reception desk and, for a brief moment, I forgot where I was. I could only wonder what had just happened to the unfortunate woman.

Earlier this month, the Governor of South Dakota, Mike Rounds, signed a new law that would essentially ban all abortions in the state unless the mother’s life was is in danger. Even in cases of rape and incest, the mother’s life would have to be at serious risk before an abortion could be performed.

I hate clowns. I hate the way they look, I hate the way they dress, I hate the way they act. And I hate myself even more for saying it. But I guess if we’re being honest, the real reason I despise clowns is because they terrify me. No joke.

The first AMS Golden Cockroach was awarded to Phil Lam for being the worst Ghetto landlord based on nominations filed by current tenants. At the ceremony on Feb. 9, Lam’s student rental house on 288 Earl St. was highlighted as an example of the poor condition of Lam’s properties. Lam subsequently sent a letter in response to this award, calling it slanderous.

The Beatles had more than a few famous lines in their popular songs: “All you need is love;” “I believe in yesterday;” “We all live in a yellow submarine.” Excellent lyrics, boys, but none are really ringing true for me right now. In addition to love, I need at least a steady flow of caffeine. Since I spent most of my waking hours yesterday writing a paper about anti-globalization movements in Brazil, I definitely don’t believe in yesterday. And the last time I checked, I live in a slightly ghetto house, not a yellow submarine.

At the Conservative policy conference in Niagara Falls on Feb. 20, Ontario Conservative Party Leader John Tory reignited debate over the public funding of Catholic schools in Ontario when he introduced his 2007 election campaign “that addresses the fairness issue for independent schools.” While he did not commit to restoring the $3,500 tax credit introduced by Mike Harris to given to families who are paying for their children to attend private, religiously-d schools, he did not completely discount it.

On AMS election night I was sleepily awaiting a photo op when, to everyone’s surprise, a familiar beat came bumping through the halls. At once the rhythm drew everyone to their feet, and as they sprang up to see what was the matter, I heard one bystander snarl “they’re lame girls” in reference to the male artists at hand. “Mmmbop:” that’s right kids, “Mmmbop.”

The Canadian women’s hockey team has been in the media hotseat recently for its seemingly merciless performance in the Olympics in Torino, Italy. The team beat Russia in its opening game 12-0 while dominating in its games against Italy and Sweden, with final scores of 16-0 and 8-1, respectively.