A frank discussion of religion always leaves me with a sensation I can only equate with a stomach ulcer. As a person who subscribes to no faith in particular, I am often in awe—and dread—of the devout practices of the seriously pious.
Above all, I do not fear devout practices because they are wrong or unjustified. If anything, I sit in wonder of the love, devotion and extension of human companionship.
But I also sit overwhelmed by the resolve and the lack of resolve I see in those expressing their religion.
I find I lose my voice when they ask me why I don’t believe in a God. I don’t know how to explain that it isn’t God I don’t believe in, it’s the idea of being berated on the street by strangers who think I need to take the “atheist test.”
It’s not God I don’t believe in, it’s the concept of not using condoms to help quell the spread of the HIV virus in parts of Africa, and it’s the concept that as a woman, I just don’t mean as much to God and the world as a man does.
If I felt I was missing a deity in my life, I would march right on down to my local place of worship and sign up immediately. But if it was the case that I didn’t believe in God, I get the sense that it just wouldn’t be permitted.
On April 2, 2005, the globe endured the death of Pope John Paul II, a pontiff who reigned as a Catholic spiritual leader for 26 years. Despite a reign that extended over my entire life, I did not take much notice of Pope John Paul II, as is the tendency of those who believe they are unaffected by someone who has and will always be present.
As is too often the case, I learned of his life after he had already lived it. I learned of a man who was charismatic, devoted and committed to interfaith dialogue. I read about his initiatives for peace and the expansion of his faith. I watched as millions, many even non-Catholic, sought out Vatican City to pay worship and say goodbye.
As I have already stated, religious devotion leaves me in a state of awe.
This isn’t to say I even begin to agree with Pope John Paul II and his opinions of many human rights issues. This isn’t to say I am immediately becoming a member of the Catholic Church. I do, however, feel slightly closer to grasping the depth of belief necessary to subscribe to a major religion.
My inclination is to covet the ion displayed by the seriously pious. I seek to know how they came to follow their beliefs with such devotion. I wish to know why some only use their religion to make others feel guilty for not feeling what they feel.
I seek to communicate that while I am equally ionate about my life and my existence, I do not believe what they believe.
If anything, be satisfied knowing I don’t your faith, as it would be a phony and half-hearted hip. Be satisfied knowing that I have considered your religion and what you believe, and that I am not dismissing it out of fear or prejudice.
While I cannot fabricate the beliefs of others in myself, I will always seek to respect them.
I wish that the interfaith tolerance preached by Pope John Paul II be extended to those who don’t subscribe to a religious denomination, or who may not believe in any deity at all.
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