Granovsky’s writing is thoughtful and well-written but I think that his criticism of our current society’s attempt to turn boys into men misses the mark. It’s true that we do not need more gentlemen, but I think that instead our focus should be on raising good people.
Most would agree that in our current social climate men and boys are being fed toxic ideas about what it means to be a man, both in relation to women and other men (not to mention non-human animals and our environment). This consensus should bring us further questions: what sorts of ideas should we be telling young men and boys about the meaning of manhood? What qualities constitute the ideal masculinity?
These questions however are problematic. They necessarily lead us to differentiated ideals for men and women, which will necessarily lead to power differentials between the sexes (think of the supposed “separate but equal” legal doctrine of the Jim Crow southern United States). Not to mention the complications that arise when we finally start to consider the implications of these ideals for gender non-binary or gender-fluid individuals.
Why is it that my sex characteristics should determine the way that I must present myself and interact with others?
Many would likely reply, “well men are bigger and stronger than women and therefore have a responsibility to protect them.” Not all men are bigger and stronger than all women. “Yes, but on average men are the bigger and stronger gender.”
Why use these rough, imperfect categorizations then? Why not raise all individuals regardless of the genitalia they may or may not possess to help those whom they are in a position to help?
Forget a more comionate masculinity. We should free men and boys from the constraints of masculinity and instead teach them to aspire to a more
comionate humanity.
—John Hannant-Minchel
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