Reasons to abstain
Dear Editors,
Re: “Waiting for the one” (Feb. 12, 2010).
Although the article “Waiting for the one” in the Love and Sex Extra did make a point that not everyone is into having sex until marriage and that my choice to not have sex until I am fully committed (I’m not sure that I will get married) was alright, I felt the article wasn’t inclusive of everyone.
Both people mentioned in the article were Christian, and that’s why they are waiting to have sex.
I’m a Christian, but what the Bible says and what God will think of it isn’t why I have chosen to refrain from sex.
I believe sex is a commitment and that it should be romantic and truly show your love—not just a way to skip the gym on a Thursday night.
But this isn’t because of any of my religious beliefs. I want to be ready and know the other person truly loves me for me before I have sex. I would much rather have sex with a guy who has committed himself to me, rather than being used for sex until they feel like moving on.
I feel many of the students at Queen’s will read that section of the Journal and instantly have a prejudice against those who don’t have sex before marriage—that they’re just religious nuts who are boring and not fun at all.
Not all of us refrain from sex because of religion. The article didn’t look far enough into the topic nor did it address other reasons why people refrain from having sex.
Allyson Smith,
ArtSci ’13
Not just about sex
Dear Editors,
Re: “Love and Sex Extra” (Feb. 12, 2010).
I applaud the Journal for addressing an important issue such as STI testing in their Love and Sex Extra, but I’m disappointed many of the articles degraded the value of Valentine’s Day.
Although some may happily sigh upon the mention of Feb. 14, others moan in annoyance over spending yet another Valentine’s Day steering clear of restaurants and refraining from taking lakeside strolls for fear of running into a happy couple celebrating their relationship.
And then there’s us. A special group of people separate from those who consistently have a date for Valentine’s Day and those self-appointed “doomed for bachelorhood for all eternity.” We live in an emotional purgatory—choosing to experience Feb. 14 in a nostalgic fashion.
Do you your Valentine’s Day experience back in kindergarten? Back then it was a magical time of year when shoeboxes were turned into works of art, delicately adorned with lace and sequins and displayed for all to see. Some give up hoping that amidst the generic cartoon Valentines we’ll receive a special one asking us to be yours—a heart carefully cut out of red construction paper, of course.
Call us what you may—hopeless romantics, characters right out of a Walt Disney picture—we wear our hearts above our heads. Please, let us have this one day a year where we can hope for something wonderful and untainted.
If you are a skeptic, remind yourself that each Valentine’s Day you’re one year closer to finding your special person.
My advice? If you weren’t one of the lucky few to be hit by Cupid’s arrow this year, look forward to the blissful unknown that is next Valentine’s Day.
In the meantime, I’ll supply my inner romantic with plenty of ammunition—I think a couple of Cary Grant movies should do the trick.
Olivia Robinson,
ArtSci ’12
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