#MomTok is nothing more than a shallow attempt to capitalize on the complexities of motherhood and faith for the sake of viral moments and brand deals.
The series The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, released on Disney Plus on Sept. 6, follows the lives of Mormon moms and #MomTok influencers—Taylor Frankie Paul, Mikayla Matthews, Layla Taylor, Demi Engemann, Jen Affleck, Mayci Neely, and Whitney Leavitt.
According to the series, #MomTok refers to a group of primarily Utah-based influencers who create content on TikTok about being modern, religious mothers, often sharing parenting tips and promoting sponsored products.
In May 2022, Paul, the self-proclaimed creator of #MomTok, revealed during a TikTok live she and her then-husband, Tate Paul, were getting a divorce. This wasn’t the only shocking revelation though. She also shared they’d been “soft swinging,” meaning they would switch partners with other couples within the Mormon TikTok community.
As the season unfolds, it becomes apparent, despite most not being involved in swinging, many are put into an uncomfortable position of dispelling rumours. Trust fractures ripple through the group, exposing layers of deceit. What once appeared as friendship slowly unravels, revealing a fragile web of suspicion and betrayal. Viewers are drawn into a world where trust is as thin as glass, and every relationship teeters on the edge of shattering.
The first episode picks up months after the scandal, with Taylor trying to reconnect with the group just before her arrest for domestic violence. Meanwhile, Whitney Leavitt escapes to Hawaii, only to return with a new secret. The show, Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, centers on their battle for the #MomTok throne—Paul the former queen, wants to reclaim her status, while Whitney seeks to steer the group in a new direction.
The drama isn’t just coming from inside the house, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) faith have been criticizing the show, claiming it doesn’t properly represent their religion.
Throughout the show, it’s evident several of the #MomTok moms take centre stage as the breadwinners, their family’s financial stability resting on brand deals and the millions of followers they’ve garnered on social media. While the show seemingly aims to empower Mormon viewers, offering a reflection of relatable lives, I find nothing about it truly empowering.
The women in the show do challenge some of the religion’s traditional values, especially when it comes to discussions of sex and womanhood, but these attempts at modernization come across as shallow.
Whitney Leavitt’s $20,000 deal with a vibrator company, for example, may be seen as progressive by some, but it risks reducing these women’s attempts at empowerment to mere brand sponsorships rather than meaningful dialogue on sexuality.
In reality, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is less about redefining Mormon womanhood and more about the spectacle of conflict and the monetization of personal lives. The show fails to deliver any substantial commentary on what it means to be a modern Mormon woman in today’s world. Instead, it reveals a group of adults who seem incapable of being honest with one another, wrapped in a facade of pretense. Beneath the surface, the show exposes the deep toxicity that often accompanies life in the social media spotlight.
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives does more to expose the inherent dangers of social media culture than to uplift Mormon women. Its focus on scandal, betrayal, and competition among these moms suggests that, rather than being empowered, they’re victims of the very platforms that have given them fame.
The glittering world of #MomTok is revealed to be hollow, with each woman’s carefully curated image concealing deeper insecurities and dysfunctions. While the show may aim to entertain, it ultimately serves as a cautionary tale about the toll that online fame can take on trust, relationships, and self-worth.
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