I still the stories my father used to tell me about how he would flip through the food section of the newspaper for inspiration on how to feed himself as a starving university student.
Times have changed.
Now, as a starving university student myself, I watch the Food Network. To the amazement of my housemates, nothing tastes better to me than a bowl of instant Quaker oatmeal while I watch a chef whip together a bowl of chocolate mousse on TV. Suddenly, the bland, over-sugared grey sludge tastes exactly how I imagine the decadent, rich, smooth chocolate mousse would taste. Call me crazy, but I swear it happens. And it means the Food Network and I have developed something of a romance.
I have my personal favorites. The bubbly Giada De Laurentiis hosts Everyday Italian, infusing Italian flavour into accessible cooking. Gorgeous and slim, she is not only inspiring but is also a source of envy. If only I could cook like/look like/BE her. She creates four recipes centered around a specific theme on each 30-minute show, often throwing a decadent dessert in the mix.
Anna Olsen of Sugar makes two insanely indulgence-worthy desserts every episode, picking a certain ingredient to reinvent the typical dessert recipes.
Restaurant Makeover blends my ion for drooling over food with my housemates’ ion for interior decorating and carpenters. A duo of one chef and one designer reinvent the décor of a struggling restaurant as well as the menu.
I Do, Let’s Eat! is a fun show examining the cuisine aspect of weddings, which, apart from the dress, really is the most important aspect to me. It showcases exotic, unique dishes—often involving varying degrees of fusion food—catering to the multifaceted clientele of the wedding party. The most extravagant and beautifully arranged dishes are usually served along with an amazing wedding cake.
Behind the Bash is another show hosted by De Laurentiis, where she gets to go behind the food scene at the world’s biggest parties. With multi-million dollar budgets and creative chefs, the most imaginative and extravagant dishes are served to high-society guests in the classiest manner possible. But inevitably, there are some bad shows. Chef At Home is hosted by Michael Smith, a man who my housemate has termed “the poor woman’s Aidan.” Bearing a strange resemblance to John Corbett’s Aidan of Sex and the City fame, injected with a dose of Barney, this man’s cheesy food puns and overacting overshadow his actual talent in the kitchen. And he’s no longer restricted to his home—with his other show, he is the Chef at Large. Be very, very afraid.
Other gripes include the old-school Emeril Lagass of Emeril Live, who for no identifiable reason grates on my nerves. The ever-perky Rachael Ray of 30-Minute Meals with Rachael Ray has a seal of approval from Oprah herself, but doesn’t win mine. Her hammed-up jokes and expressions like “E.V.O.O.” for extra virgin olive oil.
Ina Garten is one TV chef that I hate and love at the same time—her liberal use of butter and sugar wins me as a fan, but I can’t get over the fact that she throws a party almost every episode. I believe she makes friends merely to cook for a dinner party in their honor—no one can have that many actual friends.
Like any true love affair, the Food Network and I have had our ups and downs. On repeat-heavy days, our relationship enters a monotonous rut—where I feel like Food Network has nothing more to give. Those days, I commit a terrible traitorous act and flip to Home and Garden TV instead. But my housemates still know when I’ve last watched TV, because it’s always tuned to the Food Network in the end.
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