It’s January, and that means it’s time again for the annual AMS Executive vetting, where teams of candidates will try to sell you on their merits for the privilege of assuming the ninth through eleventh highest paying jobs in our student union.
The federal election helps put the great importance of the issues into perspective which will be discussed by our future student leaders. From relations with the city to relations with foreign nations, from continuing the local Bus-It program to creating a national child care program—the issues discussed by the triumvirates of AMS hopefuls seem utterly critical to the survival of the Queen’s bubble.
Students, get ready for class talks at the beginning of lectures, posters of the candidates plastered on campus walls, and catchy, hollow slogans created by the people who aim to lead you through the tribulations of an undergraduate degree.
I’d like to offer some advice—which will likely amount to little more than a waste of paper—to the AMS hopefuls while they prepare for the hard campaign ahead.
Develop the persona of each running mate wisely. Only one member ever needs to actually do the talking, so just make sure that each member covers one of the three basic categories of teenage hierarchy: jock, nerd, hottie. Keep in mind, cross-coverage is always a plus.
Come up with a solid platform, which should hit a couple of key areas. There are the things that are possible to do, but that you’ll never get around to. Things that are impossible to do, but that you’ll spend a lot of time trying. And of course, things that are completely unreasonable. A few past initiatives have been sticking up for students’ concerns with the city, making Flex Dollars (TM) available at the Common Ground, and purchasing houses around the Ghetto to help keep rent prices down.
Make sure your platform appeals to specific segments of the electorate. Engineering students purple themselves during Homecoming. Why not promise to set up de-purpling stations in front of the residences? Commerce students seem to like money. Why not give everyone AMS bucks redeemable at AMS services?
Don’t be afraid to make promises while on the campaign trail. When it comes down to it, after you’ve won the election, no one’s really going to care what you do, except the people who lost to you. Make sure to hire those people so they can’t speak out against you. A couple of pledges from past campaigns include vowing not to sink any more money into Alfie’s, promising to open a much-needed butcher shop on campus, and improving QCARD so it’s actually -friendly.
Don’t forget to come up with a catchy slogan. An alliteration or simple rhyme usually works best. “Back in Black” and “Crack the Clique” have been winners in past years. The key is to not worry about putting that slogan into practice, because even if you manage to “Crack the Clique” you’ll just build a new one. (No matter how hard you try, it’s impossible to stop 50 people who work together constantly for an entire year from becoming friends.)
The AMS election can be a great time to get issues out in the open and to discuss a new vision for our student union. If you actually end up winning the grand prize, get ready for a jam-packed year. Only after they’re elected do AMS executive teams realize that they have no idea what they got themselves into. The issues that seem important now will hardly rival the issues looming beyond the horizon.
Whatever you do, make sure you have fun with the campaign, and never take yourself too seriously.
It’s not like you’re running to be prime minister or anything. At least … not yet.
————-
Jim Morrison was the 2004-2005 EngSoc president.
All final editorial decisions are made by the Editor(s) in Chief and/or the Managing Editor. Authors should not be ed, targeted, or harassed under any circumstances. If you have any grievances with this article, please direct your comments to [email protected].