Tradition should enhance your life, not dictate it.
Political disagreements with older generations are common—maybe even expected. But coming to with differences in values and fundamental principles that will shape the way your family sees you is a harder pill to swallow. But a necessary one, nonetheless. Embracing independent thinking and personal research is paramount to finding yourself.
At 18 years old, when I decided to attend a university in Ontario, I knew I was crushing my family’s dreams. While my parents always ed my siblings and I in pursuing education and becoming whoever we wanted to be, I knew my lack of urgency to find a Jewish husband and settle down would disappoint my Bubby (Yiddish word for grandmother).
Most people recognize generational political divides exist—polls and voting outcomes make that clear. Younger generations overwhelmingly climate action, progressive social policies, and multiculturalism, while older voters often prioritize economic conservatism, tradition, and national security. These differences are statistical and even expected. But when those gaps become deeply personal—when your values and choices actively challenge the beliefs of the people who raised you—it doesn’t feel like a political divide anymore. It feels like betrayal and subsequent feelings of guilt.
Feeling guilt means you’re doing something right. It means you’re breaking out of an echo chamber, where everything you know is simply the information you’ve always been told. It means you’re thinking critically about what you believe in, rather than inheriting someone else’s convictions. It means making sacrifices to honour your values.
Defying my grandparents’ unwavering commitment to ing Israel makes me itch. Their lust for this country and the goal to have their entire Jewish family living in the “Holy Land” fills me with fear and distress. The shame I felt when I began to reverse what I learned and speak out against genocide felt like the death of any pride my family would feel towards me.
With time and reflection, that shame turned into personal pride. It took resisting the urge to look toward tradition as a marker of my accomplishments and thoughts. As a result, I found pride in my willingness to change.
I’m proud to be an independent thinker. I’m proud to be a Jew who sympathizes with Palestinian children and families. And I’m proud to prioritize love, respect, and connection over a rigid set of expectations, even if it means dating outside my religion.
At times, growing means realizing you can represent both generational change and personal agency.
It’s the difference between doing what’s right versus what’s comfortable. It’s the difference between making others unhappy with you and being content when you’re alone with yourself. It’s the difference between making previous generations proud and making yourself proud. So, stop trying to make your grandparents proud.
Sarah is a fifth-year Concurrent Education student and The Journal’s Opinions Editor.
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