It seems like the generation that’s the most sexually liberated doesn’t actually want to get it on.
Despite a rampant hookup culture encouraged by Tinder and other dating apps, Generation Z is actually having a lot less sex than previous generations. The lack of sex can be attributed to technology and social media—all-consuming porn addictions, sexual virtual realities, social anxiety, and more. The more I dwell on this decrease in sex, the more alarming it appears.
Sex has always been a fundamental way for humans to connect, yet its decline reflects a deeper disconnection in modern relationships. This growing uncertainty in how we relate to one another is concerning, distancing us further from our own humanity.
The capitalistic attitudes of the West encourage individualism and a focus on self-satisfaction— ideas which seem to have caught up and bled into the bedroom. The less we’re connecting with each other, the less we practice comion and apply it to various issues going on in the world.
Through the desire to understand sex, many preteens and adults are turning to pornography, which is all too accessible online.
Porn is terrible for a number of reasons, including its unrealistic portrayal of sex and its degradation of women. Due to COVID-19, Gen Z’s years that are normally spent exploring human connection were instead spent online watching porn and completely investing in social media, all the more enticing when face to face was limited.
Beyond the misrepresentation of sex through porn, social media is known for driving the sexes apart. From easily misunderstood “kill all men” feminists to misogynistic “incels,” the online world is definitely not helping the dwindling heterosexual sex rates.
Thanks to the toxicity of the online world, Gen Z struggles with trust and vulnerability which good sex requires. To counter this mistrust of authentic intimacy, many are turning to individualized sexual experiences, finding them less daunting than real-life connections. Virtual sexual realities are emerging, and discussions of sex robots are growing—as if no one watched Ex Machina (2014).
The reality is sex is awkward and it takes time to properly connect with another person and figure out what works for both of you. But it’s worth it. Sex is an opportunity to be truly personal with someone, to bring yourself closer to someone else, and exchange feelings and vulnerabilities. Sex is its own wordless language and it’s an experience that can’t actually be recreated using tech.
The further we move away from relationships with those around us, the more we resemble robots that aren’t questioning the behaviours and attitudes of the world around them. If you do have anxiety about technology one day replacing us, the best way to combat this is to do things that are uniquely human—kiss, hug, love, have sex, talk, connect.
Having these moments with someone else is important for emotional vulnerability and anti-loneliness.
Not only does sex deeply connect you with a romantic partner, but the debriefs among friends afterwards are worth more than gold. Some of my favourite moments with my best friends are sitting around the kitchen table, discussing one of our hookups with a crush from the night before over mugs of poorly made instant coffee.
We aren’t supposed to be spending our lives looking down. If we do, we miss out on the beauty of life that exists all around us. It’s not worth missing out on the beauty that exists within each other when we share our lives.
Humans need real, tangible, in-person connections, which are becoming increasingly rare.
However, hope is not lost. If you’re looking for a sign to text them, dress sexy, or go out tonight— here it is. Go save our generation and have fun while you’re at it.
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